It seems that every night
I lie in bed awake;
haunted by
My past mistakes
Knowing that sleep will set it right -
If only I weren't to wake.
But sleep not and see not I; tears fall
As I slowly wither -
A flower deprived of sun
Beaten down by the continuation of small tragedies
And the dread of life;
That throng of trivial ****
Killing quicker than AIDS
Which is always there ...
And among mine, I saw many minds
Of my generation
Destroyed by madness
A lost brigade of platonic
Conversationalists leaping down fire escapes
Off windowsills
Out of the moon
Because the world had failed us all.
But an old tale it is fore
Humanity, you never had it
From the start
So let us endure this hour and
See injustice done.
See the horror and scorn and hate
And indignation -
Oh, why did I awake? When will I sleep again?
I'm tired and I
Long to rest
And don't try and wake me.
I'll be gone
And glad to go
But it matters little
Because life is nothing much to lose
And this pain is absurd because it exists,
Nothing more.
So I feel this misery in
The boards of the floor, listening to music,
My melancholy,
These thoughts that sing within the caverns
Of my chest
A song that will
Never be heard.