Lincoln Town and Country
There are things I must tell bluntly
I hope you don't feel shame
for being pretty lame
and making me waste money

When I saw you in the lot
I was already quite distraught
because my precious prelude
had tires that were all *******
something new needed bought

It seemed like quite the flip
To be able to take my trip
A three hour jaunt
seemed so nonchalant
until you started to slip

Your transmission seized up first
a hefty 4,000 dollar thirst
Only one month in
the worlds smallest violin
started to hint at your curse

Next came the back gate
hydraulic arm truncate
one more thing that's broken
making it impossible to stay open
why won't you cooperate?

The sliding door fell off next
your parts are all quite hexed
rocking on the ground
oh how you astound
my emotions which are vexed

Windows?! who needs these?
obviously not me
at least your air still works
I'll count it as a perk
Since I can't feel the breeze

Then it was slated
to keep us dehydrated
after your air went on the fritz
sparkling sweaty glitz
leaving us saturated

More problems you did score
making driving a big chore
pretty soon we were left
feeling strong bereft
with just one working door

I set to the task at hand
and devised a simple plan
placing online ads
to other car comrades
and traded you for a conversion van