i love you. i look after you. i take care of you. i want the best for you. i buy you your medicine. i put a roof over your head. i found us the oxygen. i let you sleep in my bed. i let you get into my head. i listened. glistened, maybe. i exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. i fought, won and lost all at the same time. i need you. you need me. we can work it all out together, you and me. and we'll sail all the seas, as long as we need to, but you lied.

it can be fixed. but you don't want that. it's okay. it was worth it. don't know why. never will. it exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. and then arranged itself back into a neat little pile. i trusted you. i let myself into the comfort you provided. i must be braindead. tumour, rumour, enough has been said. loser you said, ahead of the rest, put to the test, surely, maybe, but you lied.

i don't mind if you don't understand me. but please stop telling me who to be, and tell jf and nixie to shut the hell up. i get the impression that reason's enough to make me a victim, sure i concede, i don't even know how to read. between the lines, the subtly sublime, i thought it was time, but you lied.

you got what you want and it's not about me
good job

i'm not seeking any atonement
i'm just looking on with astonishment
another complicit assignment
another perfunctory accomplishment

it's worth taking a moment
to throw it all away
because at least you can say
you tried