What was it I endured for three tears throughout
these years. I hate being a man, a man so Othered

by virtue of who I am. Took a holiday from reality
sponsored by a thienodiazepine, the rebound anxiety
may have got to me but I wanted to be ou'r it, to

be outta my mind, just like the first time. I felt
like I deserved it because it granted me such relief
and that felt so perfect; to remember I'm just a human

trying to escape her human plans.