My legs and my feet have been aching
A sore quiet pain
Everything takes much effort these days
And I hope and wait
To fall back into place
Hoping for a new splash
Of elated happiness.

I like it when I have something exciting to announce
One more day till I strut in Barbie pink
Holographic high heels.

I think of you everyday
Don't you think of me everyday too.

Nothing seems to fit in just yet
I tell mama please move on along
My father tried to use me to cover up a lie
And I think of all the thousands of times
I retreated and left for good
Only to go back into the lions den
A limb hanging off my bones
From your ****** teeth
Shocked at my saying
"This is the last time."

The last time I was Peter Pan
You fed me in the morning
I take it personally when people unfollow me
I wonder where I must have erred
Or if it is just happenstance
I don't know anymore
And I hope someday not to care.

I'm afraid of not reaching my goals
I'm afraid of being successful
I'm tired, tired all the time.

I do yoga
And a flood of memories revisits me in the quiet
Sweating and seeing
Feeling the day I got lost in Disneyworld
Or we took photos in front of the ferris wheel
All of it
There is too much
To remember.