My life has been full of harmful coping mechanisms/it's at the point I can't even trust my next decisions/I can't think straight I feel every steps a big'n/nothings been working I need a better system/been fighting and feel guilty I failed when I led the mission/ wasn't long ago I had confidence I was bred for wisdom/you wouldn't know because my problems weren't said it's written/all I'll let myself believe is none would have read or listened/I'm not there yet but I must say I dread the symptoms/all these contacts but none to tell I have no speck of vision/what's the point when your track record shows you've only wrecked when driven/I mean come on son no plan you have set has risen/You see it all around you, you know the devil is real/playing games with you, you can't stay at this level and chill/you promised God you'd stop but then you severed the deal while you would wrestle your feels like you needed something special to heal/I can't count your bad habits, you got several to ****/tell em your rebellious ways never left the rebel fulfilled/how long will it take until your demons convince you/to do something you'll regret although you'd never intend to/I've been running from my problems I feel winded as hell/I just want a story in my life that's splendid to tell/but your sins own you and you were even rented to sell/chained like you were sentenced to jail and no ones hinted at bail/tell me what you would do even with the charges lifted?/because you don't deserve it I know that parts a given/what can I say though, you are your harshest critic/doing a 180 would be your hardest pivot/I hate you so much like I am a heartless bigot/taking a trip to church just feels like the farthest visit/your soul is becoming one that carries the darkest pigment/if you don't clean it you'll be left with a tarnished spirit/the signs were obvious youd go off on a tangent/when things wouldn't add up you enraged and you ranted/they used to be seldom now those moments are rampant/this monster will finish you if I have to be candid/that's what you'd take it for so no wishes are granted/you carry the smell of defeat and the stench is so rancid/you're tryna find it so quick that your methods are frantic/on the road to success your car broke and you're stranded/it's like your only dream is living a life of leisure/but somehow you've never been using the right procedures/and people say they got your back, but you know the fact, it's only so they have a place for the knife of Caesar/how long has it been since you've had patience inside?/your silence and contempt are just agents of pride/vulnerable emotions you've been racing to hide all of this work for what man you're just wasting your time/all of the dreams that you were chasing have died/you think on your mistakes that keeps frustration alive/at best you and the problems that you're facing are tied/you can never advance if you put the basics aside/every time they give you credit you say the payments denied and lock all this hate away in the basement and hide/watch as your heart is gonna wind up vacant in time if you let nothing else in life but this complacence abide/have you got the message? It ain't been a race to reply do you even know the questions for the answers you're aching to find?/to become more open was not my resolve/perhaps my life is better with no one involved/I just wanna beat my demons like they're DePaul/opportunity may have redialed but I can't recall/tell me what you've done since you're flaws were recognized?/oh they've all been set aside? I haven't saw a better lie/they say your life hasn't beared fruit I got an orchard in mine/penny for your thoughts if you only knew a quarter of mine/ and they havent done a thing except torture my mind/and I can't see what it's doing to me, it borders on blind/even your successes seem to trigger the doubt/life has knocked you down with such a vigorous foul/most resort to downing bottles till the liquor is out but you've never been a one to mirror the crowd/You know when they talk about you that those whispers are growls, I don't have the answers to your problems will you figure it out?.......