You asked me what made me like you and I lied by telling you I wasn't sure. I remember exactly when I realized it. I remember what I was doing, I remember what you were doing. I remember the small details like the girl sitting between us had brown hair, and wouldn't talk despite our best efforts to make conversation. I remember how the conductor got impatient with us because I kept turning around to talk to you and our other friend. I remember the exact second I realized that I liked you. After 2 years of not letting myself feel, you made me start to feel, so for months leading up to it I made myself tell me that I didn't have feeling. But darling, I remember the moment I realized I had fallen to hard for you. The way your hair had fallen without your hat. I remember the weird smile you had made at me to make me laugh when I got mad at the other girl in my section. I remember the way other people had told me on the side they were jealous of the love we had because they thought we were already together. They said you looked at me like I was secretly special. Eventually I opened up, layed everything out infront of you and you told me it was mutual. But we only lasted a little over a month because you weren't happy. I knew it and when I asked you told me everything was fine and not to worry. I believed you too. That was my mistake. I should have stopped you and told you that I knew somwthing was wrong. As soon as I found out you weren't happy I left you. You asked for my advice about why I would end it so quickly so I sat you down and explained it to you. How every detail was a memory I had, and that if you aren't happy, you should never draw things out longer than they need to be. So here I am, drunk, lost, lonely, and thinking about how im shutting my emotions down again. But you're happy, and all I've wanted is for you to be happy.