slowly retreating into a previous shell
tearing off painted on skin to reveal fragile vulnerability
taking its place on my face
straight lined apathy mixed with sorrow replacing
bright, faked smiles covered in exhaustion
it feels too much--is it time to stop pretending?
as winter turns to spring
the world is blooming in newness but nothing has changed in my mind
progress is turning backwards,
i'm undoing myself all over again
wrists stained with marks of harm and
bottomless eyes filled with nothing but tiredness
my depression floods the shore with its darkness
sweeping away sleep and love
self-care and memory fades
this episode will pass eventually but
if only i had someone to help me
swim through the waves
and away from the swiftly moving tides of insanity.