It’s not even about safety
It’s really hard to say but once you’ve been ***** there’s really no more boundaries in your mind between intimacy and what everyone else can have.
Someone I don’t know has seen and touched me in ways I only want my lover too.
It feels like I am an object to play with and gets thrown away when they’re done.
It’s a constant back and forth between fear and “you’ve already been used so it dosen’t matter anyway”
Like i’m a piece of clothe that’s been stained so you wear it to paint.
I’ll never forget the sinking feeling. The thoughts that went trough my head.
The moment he slid it in, I knew that something broke inside me and my smile would never be the same.