I wake up in a cold sweat in the midst of the night
So terrified to figure out whats real
What's fake.
I looked for you ,
Searched for the comfort of your arms
Because you always scared the bad guys away.
You always said,
"Don't worry, babe.
It's nothing but a dream."
So why does it seem,
When I went to find you,
All I found were empty promises.
Do you remember when I was just a child?
When you used to hold me tight,
To make all the scary thoughts disappear.
Because you used to say that it's only a dream
So when did the dreams start to realize themselves?
When did dreams surface into the reality of things?
Its not like wishing upon useless stars
Asking for all of your dreams to come true,
Because sometimes
Just sometimes those dreams are horrid nightmares,
Nightmares that mask themselves and hide in human form.
Dear mother,
Where are you?
Im searching for the empty promises of you,
Hoping to find that you're still here,
Still here to hold me tight and make all of those creatures disappear
Dear mother,
Where are you?
Do you still love me and are you even here?
Staring at your cold eyes every time you fake a smile or a laugh.
Where did our mother-child relationship go?
Dear mother,
Have I disappointed you?
Have I forsaken this unbreakable bond because I am not the child you wanted,
Or raised?
Have I strayed too far away from the path you set for me?
Or did you delute yourself to the fantasized images you had of me?
Carrying it far into the grave.
I'm sorry for the child I turned out to be.
But I thought mothers were supposed to carry unconditional love for the child
So when did it start to become a condition?
When did the love turn sour and whisk away into the wind
Dear mother,
Do you love me?
Dear mother,
Why aren't you here?
Dear mother,
Where have you gone?
The beasts were supposed to disappear but you went away with them
Dear mother,
Where are you?
I miss you,
Where have you gone?
And do you still love me?
Dear mother,
I woke up in a cold sweet in the midst of the night
I cried out for your name
I wanted to be held tight by your open arms
And wanted to be told all those creatures would disappear.
So
Why did you turn into one of them?
Why did I come to find
The empty promises and your nurtured lies?
A poem for anyone who's had it rough with their mothers. This poem does not resemble the one i have with mine.