This air runs thin.
Either that or I have just lost the desire to breathe fully,
Or I have lost it completely.
Whether or not the air is still tangible does me no difference,
Because if it's not then I'm right,
And if it is then I actually have to try.
Cleaning furniture often is supposedly good,
Since raw dust could easily be balanced out with fresh air by
opening a window.
But it does not make the room any bigger,
And it certainly does not gain back the space.
There are two possibilities if I look outside today;
One- the smog has subsided and I can finally see, or
Two- the sun is at its lowest point.
Of course, having no windows in the room is an option, too,
Because if you cannot see the outside then you can convince yourself
there isn't one,
Because if there isn't one then you don't have to leave.
Since it has been two weeks of cooler temperature
it is easier to pretend it's normal now,
Just do not give away any spare blankets,
And do not let anyone know you are freezing to death.
Be selfish,
Because that's all this world has ever shown.
Forget preparing for the worst,
Because the worst has already come,
And if there wasn't any time before then there is no time now.
Your feet are blistered from walking on beaten wood floors,
And there is barely any paint left on the bathroom wall.
You could always get new furniture,
But you cannot replace the entire house.
The cobwebs are saying there are always odds,
And the odds are never in your favor,
But if you had a broom you could wipe them away and pretend for the next few days.
Clean corners go a long way,
Especially when that is the first thing you see when you look up,
And staring at the ceiling is routine.
Everything withers,
That is why last year's birthday flowers are gone
And that is why you stopped eating every meal.
If you cried a little more there would at least be a sign of living.
But the odds have webbed together again,
And some have even found ways to the floor.
Maybe outside is different but it wouldn't make up for lost time,
And thinking only wastes more.
The air has become thin and the sun is at its lowest point,
And there are more pieces to clean.