My surroundings and thoughts are so familiar,
I’ve been here so many times before.
Sometimes it feels like a past life:
Like it never even happened.
But then I am swept away to that place again,
And everything feels so memorable,
So wrong,
And yet so right at the same time.
It feels as if someone is controlling my arms for me,
Making me do what I do.
Sometimes I throw some mentality in there to make it stop,
Sometimes I put up no struggle.
If this isn’t what’s supposed to happen,
Then why does it happen so much?
I can’t fight the urge anymore,
I can’t just silence out my thoughts.
Everyone has a monster inside them,
And mine can’t help but break away.
Sometimes it can be more controlling than I am.
Sometimes I’m too weak to make it stop.
Sometimes,
I don’t even want it to.