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Mar 2018
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who said my life was interesting? i didn't, sure as **** i remained covert, but suddenly the lies started sinking in, he started breathing fire, and i started breathing ash... we agreed that both us were to remain insomnia, or rather, live in the unconscious of the living, he would wake them, while i would allow them the circus fancies; so we watched a bit of bergman's wild strawberries, i'd mute the t.v. and watch, i'd write, what was being "said" while listening to music... he'd sit sober as a judge, while i'd drink like a jester and poke fun at the fact that: not every drunk can dis-dis-clone-dyslexicon-dyslexia... ****... SPELL! in a furore!

ernest! stay on cuba with the absinthe
and the shotgun... wait your turn, mo'fo...
cast of characters
(a) dr. isah borg
            (b) marianne borg
             (d) dr. evald borg

                  any of them, born shvine?
cheap jokes, an empty theatre
and an echoing laughter coming from
the echo and no cave...

a - where are we?
   b - the children wanted to stretch their legs
a - but it's still raining
b - i told it's your great day: they want
     to pay homage
         - slept well?
a - yes, but i dreaming; i've been having the most
ridiculous dreams lately
b - why ridiculous
a - as though i'm trying to say something
      i don't want to hear
b - what's that?
a - that i'm dead although i'm alive
b - you know, you and Evald are much alike
a - so you've said
b - Evald has said exactly the same thing
a - about me? i'm not surprised
b - no, about himself
    a - he's only 38
  b - will i bore you with the details?
a - no, i'd be grateful if you told me
b - happened a few months ago
    - i wanted to talk to Evald, so we drove to
the sea.
      - he sat where you are; it was raining then, too...

           i'm pretty sure at this point
my "plagiarism" is not really a "plagiarism"
since, Mojo B overe there is deaf as an oak
trying to lip read the movie,
as i once lip-read a nurse going to work
in a surgeon's theatre,
so i said, excuse me miss,
   can i not look into your eyes
but rather read your lips,
this clamour cackle iron hoof stampede
is doing my head in,
   can i read your lips instead?
   on a train, going from
      (DYS-LEX-IA! U.S.A! U.S.A.!
          DYS-LEX-IA! U.A.E!)
    goldersgreen (learning a karate
chop while learning to not cry
when getting kicked in
the ***** is a hard lesson to learn)
to some honk-honk outpost
for recruiting the new pool-ease
enforcers... Hendon?
                           /
d - well, now you've got me trapped,
supposed you want to tell me something
unpleasant

            (d! shh... i skipped a bit...
  don't tell Mr. Fantastic about our little:
do me tender, build me a temple
bits... i spent a good amount of
bourbon on this crap)

b - i wish i needn't tell you about it
d - i understant, you've found someone else
b - don't be childish
   d - what do you expect me to think?
   you say you want to talk to me
       - we drive all this way and i'm still waiting
   - for god's sake, marianne, tell me what it is
now
b - you almost make me laugh
     - so you think i've done a ******?
   stolen money?

           (1st narrator interlude:
   apart from me cherishing emotional
irresponsibility,
                  and having duty? yes...
you wouldn't exactly taking
a ***** donor's ***** theft, would you,
mary?)

      - i'm pregnant

   (2nd narrator interlude:
   and they lived, happily, every, after)

d - you sure
b - it's definite

        (3rd narrator interlude:
  lucky for you mate,
   the one last time, 10 years ago phoned
me up an' says: i think i'm pregnant...
     oh look... it, a clown with a sad face
but happy eyes
                                   )
                                              (
               ­                    )
                but at least it's definite,
rather than: i think i am:
i.e. it's only my indefinite self scenario)

d - so that's the secret?   (4th narrator interlude:
                                             tissues and the toilet
                                         are mine,
                                        well, you know,
                synch. if your eggs are nothing but
yolk at the end of the 6th day,
                          on the 1st day my ideas are
nothing but day, year, zodiac, 0)

    b - i'm tell you now that i'm going to have
this child

   d - you put it bluntly
    - you know you must choose between me
and the child
   b - poor Evald
  d - don't "poor" me
    - it's an absurd life; even worse to make more
  wretches... and think they'll be better off
b - don't equivocate
   c1 - call it what you like, i was an unwelcome
child, all right
       - is the old man sure i'm his son?
     c2 - very touching, but no excuses for
childish behaviour

   d - must be at the hospital at three,
  won't discuss this
b - coward
d - yes, i'm a coward...
        
    the best you can do is watch the movie...
and you already know who
C1 & C2 are...
                          
   as with b - you know this is wrong
     (i.e. "this": hard to point the blame at
yourself, isn't it...
       hard to chant mea culpa) -
by now pronouns masquarade as
gender orientations,
given the neuter: it...
                            
                          righ­t now pronouns
are more about spatial coordination than
anything else...

  but you already know who C1 and C2 are
in relation to B and D,
      as you know that A and D are related
as being father, and son...
                as much as B is related to E,
who is of course the predecesor of B in
relation to A.

if i found this text on the internet,
well, a simple ctrl c ctrl p...
               and to think i can still read my own
handwriting.
Mateuš Conrad
Written by
Mateuš Conrad  36/M/Essex (England)
(36/M/Essex (England))   
119
 
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