depression comes and goes
in episodes, in waves
washing up the beach of my consciousness
leaving behind shells of memories
broken hearts and bruised ribs
sunshine laughter, turned bittersweet
and *****-stained porcelain toilets

i collect shells
hold them close to my heart
despite their broken, jagged edges
scratching thin protective layer
hang them up in the skies
to act as moons
and the tide gets rougher
heartbeat becomes irregular
as tears make way for beads of blood
steadily filling my lungs
until i am swimming in my own misery,