There's a feeling that I get when I'm flusterred
That feeling like my head's going to explode
The feeling of rage deep inside unbounded and asking why oh why
And I can't answer it
I can always smile and say everything will be alright
But
What if it's not
Who then can I believe if not myself?
I kind of just want to forget the world and all that I've been through
Forget my lies and all the words I've spoken half-truth half-nothing
And I want to close my eyes and be rid of this horrid experience because this is not what I'd like nor what I'd imagine
I long ago gave up on faith because there was no such magic
And here I am
Being told to rely on the uncertain
And I know the world isn't certain
But there has to be more order to this chaos than that which I've seen
And so what? Is it too much to dream?
Can't I just once be allowed to see a glimmering ray of hope rather than blindly attesting to a future I cannot hold?
I'd take you in my arms tonight and treat you with passion and care only because my soul isn't there and you'd cry on my shoulders because of the love that is lost when the heart is in despair
And I'd sit there like a rock unmoving, unflinching hoping to fade away seemlesly into the background, into oblivion, into nothing