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Feb 2018
Mindstate
Dispensary disciplinary disputes which dejectes rejects and may later hold regrets. Reflecting and replaying memories of times long past, reassessing and no longer retreating away and maintaining a security vest. Because my insecurity stems from immaturity which I stuff down and drown out with Hennessy, and just because I’m classy doesn’t mean I can’t falter from uncertainty. Causing a shift in time, causing a rift with all my relationships so I gotta pull out the wine. Daily cycles of addiction and because I’m used to doing it I have no control or restriction. Pills running deep, heart wanting to sleep, dreams of me on my death bed where I see everybody I know weep. Is that snow? Oh no that’s ******* my main, and it’s the finest in the game. Ok take a breath man, you look like death man for to beat this **** you need to find a helpful method man. Because I don’t want you to turn into a **** head man, for you weren’t built for this so better get your **** together man. Pain will be bearing down but don’t let it bring you down man, and when depression comes at you better hit it low hit low hit it low and then hit high hit it high hit it high man. Get yourself a game plan man, and I know things seem impossible but you got to overcome the odds like a blind man playing piano man. It’s a wonder Stevie that you don’t see your blessings, because it easy to see the flaws but trust me you gotta look for those few successes. Chasing liquor, chasing change, pulling a fast one on ya like I’m bilbo with my magical ring. Bumping to wu tang, listening to each bar letting it sit in my membrane. Living my life so arbitrary, yeah I ain’t some ordinary Gary, and I’m always looking through the dictionary for new vocabulary. Rap is my sanctuary so that must make me a missionary, and it’s my mission to keep it real  and make the most of living in this purgatory. Got a lock on my target, for I  got a dream in my pocket that I won’t simply forget. Writing some of my bars in my therapy sessions, for I still have evil within and in desperate need for a exorcism.  Hope I don’t get sent to the psych ward, or get the electric chair because I’m opinionated and stubborn for I love doing things deemed tricky or hard.  The mind state of a broken soul, and I forget it all by watching a stripper work a pole. Mind state of a kid born already starting at a disadvantage, for I’m just a uncivilized savage to most privilege folk who can’t see me for me cause they were born with an advantage.  Mind state that has chosen to overcome and help people understand, mind state with a premonition that I will solve this problem as long as others are willing to take a stand.
Classy J
Written by
Classy J  27/M/Medicine Hat
(27/M/Medicine Hat)   
181
 
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