.alt. title? a five string acoustic... never mind the guitar, i only discovered this today, when you cook asparagus properly, very much akin to cooking pasta, you overcook it? we're not talking, you slightly undercook it? eh, it'll pass... who needs a floppy little richard's worth of this noble vegetable? you boil some water in the kettle, let it rest for less than a minute, you have your asparagus and the stove is on... salt (obviously)... and you pour the water over these fine beauties, these legs of venus... and you blanch them for about 3 minutes... take them out, pour cold water over them to stop the cooking process... melt some butter with garlic paste, toss the legs of venus into the sizzling butter for a minute or two and... well, would you believe it? the legs of venus have a surprise in store for you... the tips? by god... i never expected there to be nutty accents bound to them... when cooked properly the nutty accents exfoliate in your gob! wow, wow... wow!

there are just some songs that put
an immediate smile on your face...
you can help smiling,
and tapping like a one legged drummer
perched on a windowsill,
head out of the window smoking
a ciggy, enjoying yourself
in the presence of the baltic queen
and her sister: ms. amber...
   a whiskey and a ginger ale cocktail
is always my kind of sunshine
in a glass at night...

                    one such song?
   creedance clearwater revival's:
run through the jungle...
                   good thing i don't bowl
on a regular basis,
   and as a fellow bowler would add:
to hell with the eagles!

   and when i still played guitar...
  just a few songs i loved playing...
   what i wouldn't give for a vinyl
of spirit's twelve dreams of dr. sardonicus...
when i first found this album,
by chance, in Edinburgh's FOPP shop
on rose st., obviously i ate a grenade...

when i still played the guitar...
before my ex's daddy-o decided:
you broke my daughter's heart...
i'll break your guitar...
                     chisel and hammer...
it actually took my head to make
a hole in the ****** beast...
                and he lied about it...
oh... it broke by itself...
               hell: i still had 10+ installments
to pay her off...
  after all... i did sign a contract
to pay off her 600+ quid of worth...
so... i was paying for a broken guitar...
just because daddy issues and
a very precious daddy had to stage
an intervention...

   martin & co acoustic guitars...
fine beauties...
              what was the one i owned?
000-15M? given the current price
i bought mine at a bargain...
  still... "broken hearts", daddy interventions,
and the ******* of paying off
a broken guitar...

             subsequently i had enough...
did the nirvana stage antic of smashing
her against the rocks...
such a crisp sound...
        mmm mmm...
              blues and all that jazz...

         what songs did i really enjoy learning
and playing?
   silverchair - shade...
                link wray - rumble...
      free - all right now, fire & water...
         spirit - when i touch you...
offspring - pay the man...
             under the bridge:
       just for the technicality,
   but not really the song...
              cream - sunshine of your love...
the acoustic version of layla...
       bob marley - redemption song...

    i'm pretty sure there were more...
but...
                no band...
what was i going to be,
   the next egberto gismonti?
hell... here's to not trying to outshine
davy graham: akin to blue raga...
   still, silverchair's debut?
   is still, most probably, a Carslberg motto:
the best debut of the past 30 years...

i'll still die the most unsatisfied man,
not having learned the piano...
but...
     i did find: using the motto -
an elephant stepped on my ear
(i.e. tone deaf) -
       i did find grieg's
  in the hall of the mountain king...
which was fun as a bouncy-castle
or as jumping on a trampoline...
            as i also found Гей соколи...
a folk song popular in the Ukraine
Poland and the surrounding region...

   how passions change...
              i can't even begin to relinquish
my passion for cooking...
who would have thought
you can make a counter schnitzel...
not beating the chicken breast flat...
        and instead of a breadcrumb envelope,
using handled cornflakes...

    or the simplicity of making
   the clear chicken soup...
         basically poaching a good proportion
of the left-over chicken,
   with a carrot, a leek,
    garlic, parsley root, celery,
celeriac, chicken stock...
                          fresh parsley to garnish
and salt and peper to taste...
   and once the clear chicken soup is
finished... mincing the poached chicken
with some mushrooms and sourkraut
   and making ****** dumplings!

     one chicken... two day's worth of meals,
hearty meals mind you.
really? people are in a dire need
for love poetry, for the sort of love that
only poetry allows, i.e. ideal?
       how about this... why is the female
hand the most ****** part of a woman's body?
em... if you have a hand the size
that can hold a baseball with it,
without dropping it...
   at what point is there a necessary
***** envy?
        d'uh...
                   optics...
          once a day while taking a **** will
do me just fine, after all,
i have the maxim: let the creative juices
flowing...
        and that's that...
              my hand on whittle richie
and a woman's hand on whittle richie?
              parallel universes.