I felt like writing a poem
But the lines sound fake
And the words don’t flow.
They might shine like a diamond
But they are not real
All an illusion my mind has created
The lines in my head
Full of anxiety.
Slowly getting in to my veins,
Making my thoughts worst.
Thousands of sentences in my head
Shouting to be heard
If I listen to them
Will they destroy me?
Or make me stronger?
I want to take the risk
But I am on my last string
A thousand words in my head
They make phrases
Some break my heart
Other bring tears of joy
But I need the ones
That will bring all of it at once
If I write them all
It will lose its meaning,
But they are eating me alive
Begging to be heard.
It feels as if another person was talking to me.
If I listen to them
Will they destroy me?
Or make me stronger?
I want to take the risk
But I am on my last string
I can not tell the difference
Between the poem and my life.
Like looking in the mirror
And feeling your reflection is someone else
“Just do it already. Join us”
Why is my mind playing tricks on me?
The words keep getting stronger
Controlling me
Taking over my body and soul
My actions no longer come out of my heart.
I am just a lifeless body
Or even a ghost
It’s not an option any more
I am listening to them no matter what.
My thoughts are not safe
Not even in my sleep can I get away
They keep mocking me
The longer these words are in my mind
The more they poison my heart
Making it vulnerable
To the words I’ve tried to keep out
…but it feels good
I have this power I never had before
I try to fight the feeling of
But the words are getting to me
“Just do it already. Join us”
It keeps getting stronger
My heart says no
But my delirious mind gets trapped
The last string breaks
And with a wicked smile
I know that I have joined them.