Though I am above water
I Feel as if I am drowning
Though I am on land
I am spitting water out of me

But in my mind
The water is red
Bleeding heart or
Is my goodness leaving without me

Everyday a part of me dies
I’ve learned to like the solitude
People get tired of hearing my cries
There isn’t really much I can do

My heart is so heavy
And my shoulders just drop
Am I really asking for too much?
By begging it to ******* stop?

I’m lonely
I’m sad
I’m angry
It’s getting pretty bad.

I’m losing who I am
Only one part is left to save
But you’re too late
At my lonely 12 o’clock I’ll cave.

Goodbye beautiful me.
Hello protected soul
Today everyone thinks I’m fine
But tomorrow they will finally see me fold

The pills are my escape from you
I hear the bottle rattle in my head
My mother was an addict too
But I just take them to go to bed

At least, that’s what I tell people.

One time I took too many
It wasn’t an accident I swear
That’s actually how this habit started
Because my pain was just too much to bare.

This was never part of my plan but
These capsules make me numb
And I forget who I am
Or even Where I’m from

I finally laugh again
When my brain isn’t the same
These beautiful pebbles
Can definitely change the game

I don’t remember what happened to me
When I’m under their spell
I forget about the burning in my throat
From constantly yelling for help

I should be fine by now
It was a year ago after all
Maybe I’m trying too hard
Or maybe the pain doesn’t heal because you ******* tell it so.

Everyone is your friend at your funeral
But it’s vacant when you’re alive
I’m a downer at a party
They sense I have a different vibe

Maybe it’s becaue the last event
That I attended
Ended up being a traumatic
Fearful experience with you.

But you’re in prison now
And it shouldn’t be a problem for me
You got a small ******* sentence
That should be enough to set me free.

Right?