They’re like the wife you didn’t see coming, and now you have to divorce them too
‘Mr Red when can we expect payment?’
‘If I give blood today, plasma tomorrow...I can send $30 the day after that but won’t eat till Friday.’

Bloodsuckers
Parasites
I would’ve stayed with my ex if I knew it was gonna run $10k!

$27 for a phone call with client
$37 to reply to an email from opposing counsel
$135.67 for 30 minutes of preparing documents
$78.63 for filing documents with courts

Yep...I should’ve been a **** lawyer
And folks wonder why nobody ever wants to marry again...
It was cheaper to keep secrets

‘Yes, I’ll send the $30 by Thursday...’