I will not stand at your grave
holding to a thought
constantly thinking it would leave me and escape.
I cried when time stripped from me the memory of your face.
I became tired of waiting
and like, when we were children, I slammed doors and bought blue to my face.
You starved me of my sleep, but now you starved me with your silence
when once it was your words
Now your infuriating chatter is all I long for
and yet you starve me still.
How can you take from me myself and you?
I will not stand at your grave
I will not look sad, I can not
I am no longer me.
And how dare you shield your face from me?
How, after so much thought
you starve me still, and then
you appear to me, as clear as my own face is now
You come and laugh,
A cruel trick; and yet when you stand there
That boyish smile
(How I envied your good looks)
Why do you never speak?
To have your words taken from me
I should shout
But you’ve taken my words too
and left me with this world
this unwanted time
I will not stand at your grave.
You shall stand at mine.