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Feb 2018
I saw you today and you've never looked more beautiful
And I broke down crying in the car today
5 times
in a row
in the fetal postion
You've never been so close yet so far before
And last night I screamed at God
And I kissed the picture of you I keep under my pillow
And the photo strip we took together I use as a bookmark in the book you bought me
I'm still reading it and every lover in that story still sounds like you
But then I remember that you found that book for me
I had been searching for it for years
And when you found it for me
it made me feel loved
because you listened
and you remembered
and I hope it meant you loved me, god I hope it meant that and more
Even if the story is about a girl too messed up to love like me
Pages and pages of loves lost and found echo all the ways you acted with me
Sour and
Sweet
and Cynical
and a Drug
and Curious and Witty
And Athletic and Brave
and Selfish and Lonesome
The book you bought me tells stories of men that all remind me of you
in different ways but all the same still
When you found the book you found it off my favorite quote
about finding an oddball lover, the one she'd always love
I like to think your the Bart of my story
I like to think your my oddball, wizened cowboy of a lover
I like to think you were the happiness of the story

(v.m)
vanessa
Written by
vanessa  23/F/California
(23/F/California)   
399
   Sydney and Her
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