It feels so good to be home right now
Tonight wasn’t exactly perfect
You made me wait at the restaurant for hours
Claiming that you had lost your wallet earlier
Who loses their wallet in their own house?
You are just super messy
So it is unbelievable how you always show up to places looking like a million bucks but barely have 100 bucks to your name
Your tie was a disaster and didn’t exactly match my sapphire dress as we had planned
The food was scrumptious but I couldn’t enjoy more than three bites because your phone kept on ringing
I thought it was just going to be the two of us
But you had your boss on speakerphone
Dessert was going well until you fell out of your seat
Was it because of the waitress who kept on dabbing at your shirt to get rid of non-existent drops of water or have you always had trouble sitting still?
The bill was eighty-eight seventy-five but you came up three dollars short
Thank goodness I had a twenty on me
Now wipe that lipstick off your face and go pour me a stiff one