We could have had a baby.
It was just enough time to have a child, to
let it grow inside me, to see the bump get bigger, and
bigger, and for it to be born just today, wailing loudly
so everyone around is aware of its much awaited presence.

But we don't. We have ended just like that. Yes,
I ended it just like that and I'm still uncertain what
triggers a girl, me, to let go of the only man in the whole
world who loves her, you, I will never figure out.

I'm confused, lost and broken, and without the
privilege of being able to feel sorry for myself.
Fighting the hardest battle I've fought in a while,
trying to stop myself from running back to you.

I loved you. Somewhere not too deep down I still do. But,
for a while it hasn't been enough and I'll never know why,
because your sad smile and the lingering smell of your
after shave as we hugged for the last time still haunts me!