I get lumped into that same category
of the ***** you hate because of your insecurities
(I've got a lot of insecurities myself)
making new friends is exhausting
(but isn't always)
and I'm tired of being read wrong
(even writing this is dangerous)
I love all of my friends till the end
(and trust me, I've got some good ones,
this goes out to the old shady ones,
the ones who gripped the knife, drove in the tip
then acted like they wanted to help me find out who did it)
but my silence is my self-defense
to be made to feel poisonous ***** with my head
if we can pick **** up where we left off
that's a friend to me, & a bond that's tough
I keep to myself
but I've got your back if you've got mine
my door is always open if you need a little time
to figure out what's going on in your head
I've got time even if I'm in bed
we'll smoke a joint about it
I'll lift you up
all while I'm in my own pit
of misery... are you here for me?
and yeah, I get it
my internal nature makes people unsure
my hidden anxiety and self-doubt makes it all blur
got you thinking “what the **** is wrong with her?”
but what the **** was wrong with you?
The minute you betrayed me I was through
after that,
if you think I'm constantly wondering what you're up to
you should find a different surface than a mirror to look into
I've got my own ****
lots of it
and I'd always hope you'd be there at the end of it
but I got quiet
& unless I was constantly in-motion and talking, reassuring
I'm not important...
I'm the negative side of alluring
I know it's easy to go straight to gossiping
you create a different version of me in your head
because of things left unsaid
you're a big girl
I wish you had used your words instead
I know you'd like it a lot if there was something I had said
to make you this upset
but I was quiet.
I'm just like you.
lost and stuck in my head
unsure of what to do
and I'm a good ******* friend
it's a shame it had to end
but I'm glad you took your misery around another bend
lower your expectations
and get over yourself again
until you get yourself another quiet friend
that you can't quite control
you're on a roll
and completely miserable