As I lay there
weeping and sopping
heaving and gasping for a breath
as all of the air that had once
fluttered within me vanished
like I had been punched in the gut
I thought of what I had done
and what I had failed to do
the emotions came flooding back
pouring over me as I lay motionless
holding my knees into my chest
I felt dead
like a corpse unable to move
but then I envied the dead
for they could not feel the pain
that overcome my weary soul
As I lay there
waiting for the numbness
I prayed that it came soon