i can't remember the last time
i cried myself to sleep.
i guess that's a good thing.

i can't remember the last time
i cried two nights in a row.
i guess that's a good thing.

well,
good if it lasts.
it's good until that next night comes,
and the next,
and the one after that.
and each and every time,
silent tears roll down your cheeks.

so i guess it's a good thing that i can't remember.
but that also means that when i fall,
i fall hard and fast,
and i shatter
leaving so much more work to do now
than what would have ever been needed.