Unsized; my affection for you
Only seen as slowly and surprising as it was when I first realized it.
Yet those days where your words frustrated me now comfort my being.
Under your words my heart has learned to suffer;
One week of this has it hiding away in the back of my chest.
Your mind has me telling convoluted lies and defending you against my own;
Understand that as long as you exist so perfectly there, I will not cease to do so.
Occasionally I still have dreams about you; a wolf in sheep’s skin.
Yielding myself to someone is the most frustrating thing. How did you take me so smoothly?
Using me selfishly while I lovingly caressed what I hopelessly believed to be hope-
Oddly ignorant that the same ache you feel will be shoved down my throat.
Yelling only causes my head to throb; I learned to take what was given.
Upstairs is where I keep my tears;
Oceans exist where I can not bear to any longer.
Youth doesn’t seem like a gift anymore. I know it is, but this experience burns
Upon application (even though you never touched me).
Often times I find myself in a haze where my mind feels the fire
worse than my skin ever could.
Yesterday I told a joke in what seems like months.
Until I can learn to breathe again I’ll have to stay away from that;
One joke felt like the hug I never gave you.
Y- is my affection larger than my heart