Stone walled by the minds inability
to grasp reality.
Sigh, life has always been some what difficult.
At least it's comical, its strange.
Looking back I miss the security of being a child.
My mother used to beat me for anything
and that was all i had to worry about.
She'd take a fist full of hair and drive her palm into my face with force from both ends.
And I'd tense up
and my endorphines would flow.
Toxifying my young mind.
Slowly pain became pleasure
and the euphoric feeling from getting my *** beat by a woman twice my size was relaxing.
After she was done, I would crawl away to my bedroom.
I would laugh hysterically at myself because there was
no reason
to cry.
I had cried so many times
why waste another moment
crying
over
*** beatings.
**** it up butter cup
no one loves you so love yourself.
life moves on.
first lesson learned.
Its harder now, to love myself, that I don't have too.
Or maybe sometimes I just can't.