there's no cures,
no hopes,
no hi's, nor bye's..
there's not really much left to say then is there-
so why do i try?
why do i reach for words just out of reach,
why haven't i let it go?
why do i wonder so-
wander so?
what am i looking for?
i have what i want, i have what i need,
i have the joy i sought so sorely so,
i have my grasp on a future,
no longer so futile..
and yet
guilt clouds my mind.
i wish so badly that i could take what you gave,
that i could scatter my seeds amongst the many already strewn,
intertwine my life into the fabric of yours,
and be happy doing it.
but i wasn't happy, i was empty
and your pieces didn't fit quite right,
despite how hard i tried..
because i did try,
oh how i tried.

i just wish i hadn't
poisoned the medicine maker.