what's the "real'' difference between pedagogy and ideology? don't know, but it's probably equivalent to: a bunch of dwarfs among a bunch of children... spot the ******* rottweiler.

the "problem" with individuation
     on a level of pedagogy -
it's all fun & games to be attired
in a catholic school uniform -
rebelling against the "suggested"
attire by wearing a black
shirt, when otherwise expected
to attire yourself with either
a white, or blue shirt...
          and so you can breed a sort
of people that don't really have
a high school narrative
               akin to the h'americans...
who cling to high school fueds
without engrossing themselves
in the years as if: they ought to be prized...
yet there is a problem...
   at school a mantra hovered over me...
the mantra was ushered in like
a ghost, and it clinged to me like
a spectral mushroom...
          you are different,
   just like everyone else!*
it's hard to craft an individuation process
with this mantra hovering over you...
simply because there's a question:
different to / from what?
     where's the that that i'm supposed
to align myself to,
while simultaneously
            not aligning myself to that?
i honestly can't be bothered
to play a second game of pedagogy...
because ideology is just that...
    i have to be ******* myself silly
in thinking that this requires an
oversimplification...
        you are different...
just like everyone else...
               which is a quirky paradox
that hovers over you
  when you're supposed to wear
a school uniform...
          because: how can i?
          well, at least i can escape the hell
of having to cite high school
"dramas" in my later life...
            is there anything memorable
about it, prior to infusing myself
with delusions?
   not really...
                  the ontological basis for
the existence of memory is
bewildering: no wonder it needs
   the surrealism of an "education"...
        seems more pardonable to watch
rust form on a shipwreck...
       because what can i actually "keep"?
it would be a natural answer to
amass a large number of things
  to counter the fact that:
           i'm trying to hold a handful of water
in cusped hands, when it
comes to remembering something;
but i do retain my list of riches
  in terms of a: past experience...
      and i cling to these artefacts like a tyrant...
         but i am not fortunate in
that i have been given a debilitating mantra -
i guess:
   the point when you stop blaming
yourself is when you curl out of the egg
that the "guiltless" people like to shove the jack
back into a box of solipsism...
oh yeah: they're also real...
        i hate the gimmick:
   the only person you can blame is yourself...
tell that to the Auschwitz survivors:
           'cos i'm also not buying;
not having to blame yourself
is the most liberating act of punk;
ah, but to mind: the misnomerism
         of narcissism -
            and the general ambivalence
regarding "immaturity"...
    trust really is,
  far harder to fathom than truth...
because there's no abstract to hide it in...
back to:
   what the ideologue doesn't understand
is that: there's no second (attempt at)
                                        pedagogy.
why on earth would i rob a person of
   their moral duty merely question?
   a person without a moral sensibility is
               also a person without a question:
morality - a guideline worth
  the abstinence with respect to
                                    having a choice;
versus the regret of not having it in the first
place.