Last night, I watched your band's live videos on YouTube.
I cried.
I saw the sadness in your face.
The bags underneath your eyes.
Your grown out beard that I like to think you grew for me because you knew I liked it.
I didn't see you smile.
I saw the pain in your posture.
The hollowness of your soul.
I can't help but wonder if it's because of me.
You tell me that you're doing better-
Getting into a "routine".
Yes, I still listen to your music.
I listen to it when I hate myself and I want to feel you close to me.
I always regret it.
Because I always feel torn apart after I listen to my favorite songs.
I listen and search for you in every song,
In hopes that the music will one day bring us together again,
like it did the night I met you.
Remember how happy we both were?
To find one another.
We both admitted to feeling a happiness we haven't felt in a long time.
I thought I had finally found my "******".
Now, you are an empty memory-
One I constantly search for in the melodies through my phone.