I sat there, leaning back comfortably with my right leg draped over my left. My eyes were seemingly fixated of the dull glow of the television screen directly in front of me. I say seemingly because, even though it may have seemed like I was, I was not paying any mind to whatever imaged the screen offered me.
My mind rolled and humbly rumbled behind my unmoving eyes as all I could think of was you, sitting next to me, your right leg brushed against my left and with your right hand gently grasping my left. As I sat and thought about a conversation that was definitely due to come up very soon, you laughed and I was temporarily awakened to the present moment.
A man on the television was walking around with a bucket on his head through a crowd of people, desperately trying to remove it and had resorted to slamming his own head against the side of a table. None of the people even payed him any mind and just watched in silent neutrality as he harmed himself over and over with the help of that table. I smiled weakly and let out a slight "ha" but inside I was stirred by the scene.
Why would no one help the man? Why was he left to his own devices even though he was clearly in no position to be allowed to do this? Why didn't even one person just tell him to hold still while they plucked that bucket off of his head?
I let the thoughts pass through the corridors of my brain as I again drifted into the part of it that mattered more. The conversation we had to have had to do with the fact that we had to discuss the future of our being together. You're going away to college for the semester and I'm stuck here with a ****** job that I've yet to find and a lonely disposition that never seems to want to let up. I like you a lot; your innocence, your face, your body, your voice, your genuinely uplifting cadence of voice. But I'm not sure this can last. I've heard time and time again, though I've never experienced the situation myself for fear of definite failure, that long distance relationships never end nicely. I don't want us to end on a bad note like so many other girls who I've had the displeasure of calling my own. I want us to be good friends, if not lovers, because you're too good of a person not to have in my life. Though that may sound selfish, I don't believe it so because when you say things like "I miss you" and "You make me so happy" I'm forced to believe it because I can't imagine you would ever lie. To me, especially and in general, I think it's doubtful. You're too sweet, genuine and beautiful to lie. And lying is an ugly thing.
On that note I'm not sure if I'm willing to give us a try once you pack your bags and head to the country. I'm sure when we talk we'll be able to iron this thing out fully but for now all the thoughts tumbling in my head are enough to make anyone a little crazy. So I think I'll just grip your hand a little tighter, move in a little closer and peck your cheek to let you know that everything's going to be okay.