The sun it rises
I drink coffee out of a yellow mug
Dreaming of lizards and anxiety
Like I'm cutting down branches of branches.

My mind wanders to you from time to time
I imagine you
Red faced from a deep nap
On your couch
After eating vegan cheese
Beet hummus
At least I know I tried with all my might.

Some women say we both benefitted
Some women didn't care that you screamed at me
Into the wide open
Some women didn't want to hear my side
Of the story
Some women picked on me in the moments
Where they felt I was young and silly
Though I was always sitting at that same table
With just as much to contribute.

I never said one bad word
Of them and their antagonistic tendencies
When it was me in your bed almost everyday.

You sang along with an invisible choir
It made them feel bad to see a beautiful young woman
I was pushing them away
I'm the millennial mountain
I'm an actress turned filmmaker
I'm who they wished they could have been.

You and the choir would echo to my deaf ears.

I never said one bad word
Until it was all over and done.

I suspect I'll be healing from all those words
All those fits in bed
Where we laid our heads
For quite some time.

Because thats not who I am
I don't reap the cause from tearing anyone down
And I'm always the first to take in scrutiny
Though there are those that think
I might be bogus
With my glamor
And Southern background.

Its taken me so long
To come to terms with it all
A new dear friend asked me
"So how did you become who you are now growing up in the deep south."
No one ever thinks to ask me such questions
So when they do
I look off into the distance
Warm and glad
To finally answer.


There is much to do
Gotta get back to it
Flying on planes and constantly packing bags
I handed my card to a new man
He has captured my interest
And I entertain ideas
Of it actually going well.

My friends painted my room green
I've had an endless appetite
Standing in the sunshine
I learn and I grow
Expanding out of my own territory.