i. betrayal's a dagger
inches from your back
along with a gun
fingers on the trigger

                        ( judas kiss,
                            it's not what it is )

but you should know better
  your friendship festers
hide that jealousy behind the dresser

   ( if this is what jealousy feels like,
    you do not want to
             know betrayal at all. )


ii. it will chew you and spit you out,
throw away those lingering doubt
and stop going roundabout

( but the confirmation is all there is,
he never told you, did he? )

maybe he has forgotten
you and what you are


and maybe you've forgotten who you are too.


but the heavy weight of his words
the implication that he doesn't care
the fact that he kept you in the dark.

yes, i'm coming back home.

iii. you are not ready
you feel jealousy spike through veins of doubt
you see your friends say hi, hello
but all your mind could wrap around
is that they know, they know.


( he was coming back and nobody told you. )


what are you to them?


iv. the rage is bubbling, simmers down with a bitter taste in your mouth
the dagger etches a scar rather than a bleeding wound
and the gun fires a bullet to your heart and head.


( it is where it hurts the most after all. )



this is what betrayal feels like.