I'm losing my ******* mind
My ******* life
You haunt me
And I can't escape.
I'm tired of running
Tired of ******* losing
Just get out of my head
That I may sleep
Get out of my mind
That I may dream
I wish I was ******* gone
I can't pretend for you anymore
You don’t deserve it
You deserve nothing
But the pain you caused me
Why can't you ever be unhappy
You always find someone else
Some other way to torture me
And some days I don’t mind
The pain has become my home
Because pain is what you taught me
You're just so oblivious
So carefree
As if you wouldn't care if I was here at all
As if you didn’t even know me
So go ahead
Press your knife harder
Because I want you to see my eyes fade
While staring into yours
If I didn't care
I'd open doors that I've needed all my strength to keep closed before
But of course
How could I do that
When none of this pain is actually of your making?
It was just welded behind walls I never thought could be reopened
You're only the spark that lit up my fire
You're only a shade
Of an entire life of being left behind
I just need someone in which to set the blame
Because I can't handle knowing in my heart
That I am at the center of my problems
That I am unworthy of you
Stepping in a circle
Wanting you, hating you
Defending you, degrading you
Where each step is a new excuse
But soon I'll lose my balance
And fall on my own
Then I'll wait there
Until no one will have to deal with me
Any longer.