she watched
,
listened
...
but never spoke


she thought that by making herself invisible

she could stay away from it all
...
away from the lies
,
the truths
,
the sadness
and
the regret
...
she thought she was better off that way
-
she thought she was actually alive


soon

she grew so lonely
,
not even my company was enough

and i tried to tell her

"if no one can see you, your not really alive"

but she carried on

ignoring the signs
that told her stop
,
the signs that asked her
to leave the thoughts behind
,
the signs that told her
she needs to live

and i could feel the very moment
she began to doubt it all
...
the very moment she truly let go

-

after that
,
i knew i couldn't stop her
-
for it was all in her head

and her head chose to ignore her heart
...
to ignore me

.

i always thought that i could change her

but
then i met a wise old lady
who told me
"you cannot change someone, who doesn't want to be changed"

and it was hard for me to except at first

i just didn't understand

why she chose

death over life.

but as the year's went by
there wasn't a day where i wouldn't be thinking about it
...
about her
,
my dear friend

and it must have just clicked
because i finally understood

that i couldn't have saved her
nor could have anyone else
...
it was her choice
and that was that