for 3 days I cried
like a waterfall overflowing
my tears were unstoppable

and it was like every little emotion I had bottled up
attacked every nerve and every cell in my body
my soul was weeping for what I had lost
my heart had just finally allowed itself to break

all those hours I cried over you
over what I had done to you
over how I had hurt you
and how I had lost you forever
all those minutes I spent in agony
feeling like my insides were being ripped in two
I hurt over you
all those seconds I beat myself up trying to find a solution, a choice
I never once made myself an option

3 days later I woke up and realized I had been crying over everyone but the person who deserved it the most
Me
I should have spent those tears on the person who needed them all this time
I was writhing in agony over who to choose and not once did I stop to think,
I am the ******* choice
I do not deserve to be made to split myself open so painfully for others
when I deserve to be planted deep in my own ground and stay rooted in my own soul

I am already everything I've ever needed
it was the pain that made me believe I was not
the fact that I loved others so deeply that led to me believe I wasn't capable of giving that love to myself
it was the hand that plucked me up like a flower
and tried desperately to keep me alive with a vase and some water
when my roots were not meant to be confined in the first place