a friend told me
"we're only bodies."

molecules sewn together just right to
make the meat stick to the bone
keep the blood inside
keep the thoughts from wandering outside the hard case
soft parts inside not to be damaged
there, but never seen
         (except in thought which happens to happen
         just behind the eyes)
carefully written blueprints hidden
deep inside so small but makes up everything
that makes me
         even the parts I wish I could delete
         except there's not a backspace button
         away from the internet.

my feet take me places but never far enough.
i always find the same places again
over and over
the same old ground
the same old fears same old
errors in the coding:
why do I think those things?
why do I say those things?
who made me this way?
the cells remember,
keeping score of every time i bled
tick marks like attendance slips
to prove i showed up

         i was there
         i don’t know why but i was there