I've always wanted to not feel
To prerend my life wasn't real
I succeeded in pretending
But the hurt was never ending

Truth is I always felt
I just didn't want to be helped
And as much as my mind knew what i wanted
My heart never ceased to betray me

I never lifted my head up
Never wanted to meet someone's gaze
The apparent windows to my soul
I had to keep the curtains closed

But now here i am
In a moment of sheer loneliness
My wish has seemingly come true
The time to reveal myself to you...

Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see
An empty pit of nothingness
That's all there is to me

I've laughed and I've loved
Hurt, crashed and burned
Joyous and sorrowed
Alive and now I've died...

I dont feel a thing
If i do it gets locked away
To form the shadows i see in the day
And the nightmares I've learnt to expect

Endless days with fatigue
With long insmoniac nights
Music being my lifeline
My reality seemingly a lie

Constantly wishing i could physically die
Its somewhat comforting that I'm dead inside
But the voice in my head alive in my friends
Keeps reminging my why i should be alive

Living not for myself anymore
But because i have things to prove
And if it means going hard
Well haters, its for you.