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Aug 2012
Running through the checklist of things to do I can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
A breathe of fresh air is what I crave;
I’m lost for wards for what I have discovered; I tried so hard to be the role model.
Venting is not enough.
Engaging in this forbidden dance was something I couldn’t see you doing till you were older.
No were to go, no were to hide;

Even though I hold you so dear to my heart this action has ripped the death grip I had.
Loneliness became a friend;
Lingering is nothing but the old memories of what was the good you and now I just see hypocrisy.
It drew me in ever so close.
Stupid: how could you be so stupid? All these lessons I tried teaching you for nothing!

My heart was so big;
It’s like I’ve wasted part of my life on you and I can never get it back, I struggle with this.
Chanting in the name of love.
How can I accept you when the feelings I have are twisted just like your words to me?
Aroused by the thought of being loved;
Ever mess up you were there to make me regret it, yet your actions are exactly the opposite of your words.
Love never felt so cold.

Staring into your eyes make me hate you; I resent the connection we have, but I can’t let go.
Imagining there’s light at the end;
Severing the ties is not enough to make me forget you; our bond is too strong to do that.
This pain is too much.
Every memory of you is forever engraved on my heart, but I don’t want them just a new heart.
Rest in peace;

Awaiting for a new start seems impossible after everything you have put us through.
Never again will I fall.
Drowning us with your overdramatic way has forced us to grow up faster then before.

But I hold on to hope;
Running away from everything is your downfall; you call me immature but really you’re looking in a mirror.
Over the times of deceit.
The mirror you fail to look at because you’re too afraid to see yourself for yourself.
Holding on to whats left;
Examine what your actions have brought onto us but too afraid to accept the consequences.
Running of empty words.

Now look at this situation we’re in and tell me that you are being mature about it when all you do is run.
Outsmarting the twisted thoughts;

Must you go on living this way I do not want any part of me to be involved with you.
Outwitting the tricky games;
Really look deep in your heart and feel the pain I feel and then walk a mile in my shoes and you’ll see.
Ending the lies, hurt, and struggle with just one breathe...
Michael Ellis
Written by
Michael Ellis
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