fingers hover over keys and i am, as usual, lost for words. i cannot write about thing things that really matter.
but i think to myself ' i need healing, and peace and quiet '
but you will no give me any even if you do not know it.
i read somewhere ' if you want to let go of someone do these things' it said
write a list of the things you dislike about them
so here it is:
you're always late even when you're early. in fact i don't think i've ever seen you be early what the hell do you do? how can you consistently be late to everything the same way i'm always early?
that's effort to be that unpunctual.
you never finish sentences because you're bored or you forget what you were saying
you refuse to remember to do something out of laziness and carelessness and you said ' my parents tried ' not hard enough.
you keep thought hidden and you lie out of convenience. saying you like it when people aren't politically correct.
i think you're just too scared to say some things yourself.
scared? lazy? or just weak?
i'm not sure. but i don't like it.
you only help me when i'm sinking and you don't like the way it looks.
you only seek me out when you haven't seen me in too long and you stumble on your words.
you never mentioned her in months until you did and never again.
you never say her name. why don't you ever say her name? if it hadn't come up, would you have ever said ' i have a girlfriend'
i know how your voice sounds when you speak about your sister and your mother and your father.
i know you eat together as a family and your sister hasn't been visiting that often. i could see the resentment on your face when you told me about it.
you don't like sweets or chocolate you always order coffee the same as mine you thought it was strange that i didn't like bread but you didn't seem to mind.
you said ' she's going to sit there ' and ' you looked worried, so i followed ' and ' we can talk about this at lunch ' and backtracked when i asked how were we going to talk at lunch? you had it twice in the common area and left.
you don't like to be touched or touch but you touch my arm and i've touched you you didn't flinch.
you follow me around the room and whenever i show up to talk to him somehow you always end up by his desk
i walk in and you get up, walk around the room either avoiding me or running from me
checking to see if i'm coming out to smoke (yes i saw)
i dislike that you're doing this. i dislike that i don't mind it at all.