As the world crumbles around me all I can see is the sweet relief of death looking at me from beyond the veil of my happiness. It's always there, begging me forth. It's there when I'm alone and when I'm not. Asking me when is it time, when will you join me.
I'm drowning in the endless depths of my mind, adrift in the seas of my loneliness. Wanting so bad to finally stop struggling against the current. But those who need me here each have a lifeline tied around my soul. I stay for you.
I'm not the monster I've been painted to be, just a man in pain. There is a great and mighty beast within me, ready to pounce the moment I'm ready. Ready to **** and devour me when I can no longer fight.
There are many in my head who fight for control. Some are stronger than others and they win more than they lose. When they are in control I don't know who I am but I can't stop them. I add my strength to the ones I want to win, but some days we all lose.
The Sun and Moon. Light and dark. Heat...life... Happiness. Or. Cold...death... lifelessness. They rise and fall like the tides. I've got no control.
The silence is when I'm happiest. Just me and my monsters. No one to hurt or be hurt by. No one wants me. I don't blame them, I don't want me either. Too many people. Too close. Touching me. I don't like it. But they won't go away.