There I saw you
Caught by that gaze—
Caught by those memories.
I can't help but feel like you want me back,
But I also can't help but know the truth.
You've got me running in circles,
Tracing my steps,
Trying to figure out which one of us
Made this mess.
I wake up every morning
With a resemblance of black eyes
Because **** it I can't escape you.
You've kept me up nights,
And rightfully so!
I just can't see past this cloud.
It's like I'm caught in a dream
With nowhere to turn—
With no escape route.
Thoughts of you always get past the firewall in my mind.
I don't know how you do it,
But as soon as I feel the need to get you out
I hear your breath,
Feel your tongue on my lips,
See you there when I was so petrified by your perfection
On that night when we first kissed—
****, I can't help but fall all over again.
As I flicker in the night,
With never more tired eyes,
I swear I see you,
And I wish for you every time I tell you to make a wish.
Here I am though—
Caught with your ghost
Even after a year apart—
Unable to avoid your coast when sailing our friendship.
I can't help but want you to want me;
I can't help but come back after I sail out to sea.
Now I hear you have found someone else,
And I'm happy.
I just can't help but rage my tears out
In jealousy.
We have taken so many turns in our relationship
That I don't know where we are headed anymore.
We are just trying to find solid ground,
While caught in a storm,
Lost at sea,
But I love the way you petrify me.
At least that’s what my wasted thoughts and dreams
Lead me to believe,
But once my heart and mind have sobered up
From these reminiscent day-dreams
I wonder if you wished you never met me at all—
That we simply sailed past each other,
Never to sail on the same relationship,
Just simply tread our path
With our own light to guide us
Until they flickered out,
Leaving us either to find a light from someone else
Or to be left alone
To be broken and beaten by life until there's nothing else—
Until there's nothing else.