you must walk slowly
with deliberate steps
or else run as fast as you can
you must not remind yourself of your body
all its inconvenient parts that make your inconvenient stomach hurt
or else you must push that inconvenient body fast enough far enough hard enough
that the only thing you know at the end is what your body can do.

2. be careful
don't tell anyone
except everyone
that you'll never meet offline
the hints might fall out
in the way you wear your hair
in the air
all around you
but no one wants to believe it unless you make them
so until then you're just strange
in small ways
angry at strange things-
being called pretty, being made to wear certain clothes,
the way you body workslooksfeels-
no one will want to see it unless you lay it all out, though

3. try not to fall
i know it's hard
hiding in plain sight no one can help you
but don't jump
because you might change your mind
too late to avoid the sick thump
of your body on the pavement, your soul left behind
and that'll be all it is, a body, not you
and you'll never get to change
or grow
or let anyone know you
at all