Twist of conscience?
No, it isn't.
I've dug this hole.
Embracing my shortcomings.
Doing nothing to better them.

Self deprecation?
Possibly.
I know I can be better.
But wanting it is easier than doing it.

Oblivion?
Yes.
Lots of pills.
I love my pills.
My ready excuse for non-action.

Anyone see my suffering?