another night.
my head spins, my stomach is unsure of whether to throw up or to never eat again.
my self hatred is growing and i have no way of stopping it. it’s an infection of the mind and it’s incurable, i am a victim of a hate crime against myself. all of my pain is  so visible. now more than ever they see it, the pain trying to pry me apart to leave me in venerable little pieces... i want nothing more but to escape and be a forgotten memory but something tells me it’s not that easy.   I don’t want to hurt anyone but i’m hurting so badly but i will never tell anyone just how awful my demons have gotten. the things they whisper anytime i start to cheer up, the way they manipulate your every thought... i need an escape but i can’t find anything that can fully subside all this pain im holding within it fades for a few hours but then i’m alone again and the demons creep back into my ears and continue to rip and pry at me. if there is a god out there please hear my cry for help and let me be happy. please. i am drowning so quickly it’s like they put the anchor through the hole in my boat . i’ve been trying to convince myself that everything is going to be okay but i’m still sinking further and further away from the light. ~m.a.g.