Dec 2017
Do you ever feel so hurt
That you're so afraid
To ever open your heart to anyone
Ever again
You can't give yourself away again
You can't
You can do it when you're intoxicated
And life is a breeze
And maybe *** isn't such a bad idea
But then he wants more
And you're afraid
You're afraid he's going to break you
You're afraid to give your heart away again
You need to mend still...
It's been two months but you still need to heal
You need time, you think
But what if years go by and you're still afraid to love again?
What if you can never give yourself away again...
What if you're so afraid...
You opened up to him
And he broke you
Every single day of that **** year
He broke you down
And he wore at your soul daily
He took away your charisma
And lust for life
He made you lust for his body
He made you into an object of ***
That he abused
That he had not a single Care for
He hated you
He loathed you
He would call you worthless after he promised he would heal your heart and take care of it
He promised a 1 Corinthians 13 type of love
O God...he promised
And he lied
And he's made me afraid to ever trust any man again with my heart
Oh baby girl, he broke you
And you are still mending
You will be that phoenix and you will rise up again.
Oh but God it hurts
And I still can't forgive him
I can't forgive him for taking a year
For kissing her lips
With his coffee laced perfect lips that would grace mine ever so easily...
I can't forgive him
For lying about where his body had been just before my fingers caressed and tried to please every need he had
O God what was so wrong with me?
What was wrong?
Could i not please him?
Was I not good enough
Was I so horrible
Were my insecurities too much for him
Well he had pronounced that my insecurities would be the downfall of our relationship
O God, surely my jealousy had reason after I hear all he had done behind my back
When he kissed my lips softly and whispered
"trust me baby"
And I crumbled to the floor
O God...
Help me
I don't know if I can ever trust again after this
Heal me
And make me Your Daughter again...
That you're so afraid
To ever open your heart to anyone
Ever again
You can't give yourself away again
You can't
You can do it when you're intoxicated
And life is a breeze
And maybe *** isn't such a bad idea
But then he wants more
And you're afraid
You're afraid he's going to break you
You're afraid to give your heart away again
You need to mend still...
It's been two months but you still need to heal
You need time, you think
But what if years go by and you're still afraid to love again?
What if you can never give yourself away again...
What if you're so afraid...
You opened up to him
And he broke you
Every single day of that **** year
He broke you down
And he wore at your soul daily
He took away your charisma
And lust for life
He made you lust for his body
He made you into an object of ***
That he abused
That he had not a single Care for
He hated you
He loathed you
He would call you worthless after he promised he would heal your heart and take care of it
He promised a 1 Corinthians 13 type of love
O God...he promised
And he lied
And he's made me afraid to ever trust any man again with my heart
Oh baby girl, he broke you
And you are still mending
You will be that phoenix and you will rise up again.
Oh but God it hurts
And I still can't forgive him
I can't forgive him for taking a year
For kissing her lips
With his coffee laced perfect lips that would grace mine ever so easily...
I can't forgive him
For lying about where his body had been just before my fingers caressed and tried to please every need he had
O God what was so wrong with me?
What was wrong?
Could i not please him?
Was I not good enough
Was I so horrible
Were my insecurities too much for him
Well he had pronounced that my insecurities would be the downfall of our relationship
O God, surely my jealousy had reason after I hear all he had done behind my back
When he kissed my lips softly and whispered
"trust me baby"
And I crumbled to the floor
O God...
Help me
I don't know if I can ever trust again after this
Heal me
And make me Your Daughter again...
