they always say to me
"you get attached too quickly,
and always,
always,
to the wrong people"
and i tell them

you'd hang on to
the smallest
hints of hope, too,
if you've been left,
been forgotten,
been as faded into
the crowd as i
have

and they don't
get it
they can't fathom
walking up to a crowd
and not finding that person
whose soul meshes with
their own
and going days and weeks and months
******* years
like that
without ties
and without empty lungs

and they say to me
"you just have to be more welcoming"
and i tell them

i have had my home unlocked for years,
windows wide open
and a front door so
tired of never
welcoming
someone new
i have only ever been
a beacon
and you all have only ever been
blind mice
senseless gusts of wind
on a dark night

and they never understand
but the people
i hold onto
so tightly
love so fiercly
after minutes
seconds
of meeting them
they know the same fear
the same
devotion without
apology

and they say to me
"we can be so very wrong and so very stupid
together"
and i tell them

*i am home
don't you dare
leave
don't you dare
rob me and
throw me to the
birds
unless it's
with you
sinking just as quickly
into this
muted crowd