I will continue to search for you.
In every glance.
In every passing stare.
In every hand hold and hug.
Every lingering kiss.

****, man.

I hate picking myself back up off the floor. I’m getting so good at it and truth be told, that scares the **** out of me.

I wanted it to be you.

But. What can you do? You can’t curse the universe. I hope you still think of me. Because you’re on my mind right before bed and right when I wake up.

Can someone tell me when that ends? I need a guide to tell me when the **** my heart stops hurting and when my head decides to stop thinking about you.

I’m in this odd limbo of wanting someone and not wanting someone. I can’t quite explain it. I’m just afraid that I’ll get so good at being alone, I won’t ever want anyone in my life.

You were not settling to me. You get me. Well, you got me. That’s gone now. Now, we are awkward and jagged puzzle pieces trying to make a whole picture on a cracked wooden table and we will never fit together. Not like I want it to.

I have this bad habit of trying to change people’s minds about me. Is it me? Maybe I’m the odd one out. All I know is, when I met you, I smiled at the sun. Life here didn’t seem so bad. I smiled at random people passing by. I enjoyed love songs. Now, I ******* hate everything all over again and there is

No
One
To
Blame
But




Me.